17. "Arbitrary Law"

"O Lilies! O Garden swing! O silver Enema bags!"

- Armand Silvestre (Arthur Rimbaud), "Lilies", parodies from the Zutist¹ Album

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by Edward Lacie

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Episode Seventeen

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That theme music is a forgery!

The one-armed man really has only one arm. Cooper interviews him; he is shirtless. It could have been a camera trick, an actor with one arm behind his back under shirts. Instead, we learn now, it is a one-armed actor. Or is it still a camera trick?

A man with less votes than his opponent is declared election winner by a Supreme Court decision precipitated by the state in which the candidate's brother's involvement reminds no one of the Kennedys.

A school sponsored by the government, which in turn receives revenue from that sponsorship, employs pretenders and lawyers to keep it all hush-hush.

I say nothing about the FBI which explained its incompetence very competently. I say nothing about living in the Enron Age.

Everything is a forgery. The following pages about Cendrars are my own forgeries to verify his existence to use in an essay comparing Cendrars to Baysans, thus putting Baysans in the league of the great (and forgotten) Cubist poets of France:

A page was constructed for a popular on-line book dealer, reviewing Cendrars's novel, Moravagine. A fictitious review I invented (Doug Anderson of Centerville, Ohio) writes: "He (Cendrars) also lost a hand in WWI and wrote a very beautiful poem about it, such is the magnanimity of this soul who was such a restless originator of new forms it seems he could have single handedly brought about modernism all on his own. Of course his many friends (of which Picasso was one) did what they could too. As a poet his reputation is solid, as a novelist he is still gaining ground as his books begin to reappear after a long abscence." "I think about Laura all the time," Donna tells Leland. This is tense. Jim is home. More "Twin Peaks" later. I should eat and feed Baysans his daily meal, too. A web page regarding Cendrars that I posted at http://www.kirjasto.sci.fi/cendrars.htm contains this bio info I came up with for Cendrars. The runaway detail is a sort of borrowing from Rimbaud. I intentionally put a couple typos ("working working") on the page to make it consistent with the rest of the web site I hacked to post it. (Another bogus page I posted to validify the existence of my made-up character Blaise Cendrars can be found at http://www.waterboro.lib.me.us/births/bsept.htm which is where I posted Cendrars' invented birth date.) "At the age of 15 he ran way home - according to a story he escaped his parents but another version tells his family gave up keeping him in school. Cendrars worked in Russia as an apprentice watch-maker and was there during the Revolution of 1905. In 1907 he entered the university of Berne but settled in 1910 in Paris.... "During his life Cendrars worked worked at a variety of jobs - as a film maker, journalist, art critic, and businessman." Jim just stormed into the room and gave me an ultimatum: in two weeks, have money or get out. We had an unusual heart-to-heart after his usual beer or two after work. He has only one or two more weekends left at his part-time job. In the city of Twin Peaks, another body's been found, probably Maddy's. "Nothing matters," is James's (and my) conclusion. Either that or I'll have to speed up my plans for exacting a ransom. Cooper is setting up a test (again) to find the killer of this newly found victim, saying he needs "magic." The killer is in the room. Bobby's father, the Major, shows up with the doddering bellman who hadn't noticed Cooper needed emergency assistance for that gunshot wound which closed the first season. Within earshot of Cooper the doddering old man says a line from Cooper's dream that was spoken by the midget, the old man says this to Leland, "That gum you like is going to come back in style." Jim has gone to bed, thankfully. I work on this project only peripherally when he is awake. He doesn't like when I work on this. When faced with stress and decisions, I don't make a decision. I let it "go ahead."² It was the same during my "breakdown in the direction of up." Leland is taken into a cell and starts cracking up. "I can't afford to eat," Jim Post says. Here, then, is the poem I've invented for Blaise Cendrars to have written. Baysans then did his "translation" of it: Deadline Hour ("Derniére Heure") by Blaise Cendrars Oklahoma, January 20, 1914. Three inmates in possession of revolvers killed a guard and seized the master keys, escaping from their cells. They then killed four additional staff in the prison courtyard before taking a young female office worker hostage. Escaping in a vehicle waiting for them at the gate, they sped away while the remaining guards fired at the escaped felons. Some leapt on horses to pursue the escapees. Shots were exchanged. The young woman was wounded by shots fired by the pursuing lawmen. Another shot caused the death of the horse pulling the getaway vehicle. The guards approached and found the inmates dead and their bodies torn by bullets. Former Congress- man Thomas, who was visiting the facility when the event occurred, praised the wounded woman. -- I wrote the original French first, translated it roughly and handed it to Baysans to make into a "poem." "The truth is out there," Cooper explains, the theme for "The X-Files" which would not premiere for another year or two. And David Duchovney hasn't made his drag appearance yet! Leland dies. Poet X didn't make an appearance in Bulletin Board until August, 2002, after he'd been killed in the hit and run accident in Portland. It was Baysans using a nom de plume in homage to his newly-flattened friend. A final rewrite note: I've achieved the ultimate compliment, sign of achievement: a book by Cendrars has shown up on e-Bay! I put a bid in and got it, an early translation of Sutter's Gold which was the favorite book of Joseph Stalin. To keep things current, Joseph Stalin was in the news elsewhere this week, it being the 50th anniversary of his death (in 1953). Poet X's body was identified in July, 2002, by an anonymous tip to Portland police from a phone booth in Seattle. Paul Gaugin sailed for the south Pacific in 1887. Paris was about to get its first taste of the exotic. End of episode.

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